The Digital Ghost: Why Does it Still Sting?
Lets go back in time a little bit: The year is 2016. Digital dating is on the rise, and dating apps are slowly becoming the norm. It is now easier than ever to chat, connect, and meet other singles.
Youre having a great time going on dates and getting your feet wet in the dating world. However, there is a dark side to online dating…
Ghosting.
Its dreadful, isnt it?
First coined by Urban Dictionary in 2016, Ghosting, has unfortunately become well-known. Ghosting means when someone ceases communication with someone else, in the hopes that the other person will just get it, or understand, the sudden cease of communication.
Ghosting has become a big part of the dating conversation over the last 5 years. When we fast-forward to 2021, the current covid-19 restrictions mean that digital ghosting has been on the rise. Whats a single person supposed to do?
While it seems like ghosting is a recent cruel joke, ghosting has been around for as long as dating has. Uninterested parties have been splitting – without a final goodbye – from the time of landlines until now.
Maybe you had a great conversation, or a virtual date that lasted for hours. Perhaps you both laughed over pugs and late-night ice cream, or the fact that you had the same major in college. Suddenly though… the messages stopped. The number was changed. They were unavailable. Finito. Gone. What once was, was no longer.
Ouch.
So why does it still sting? Rejection is never pretty, and being digitally ghosted in a pandemic world can be emotionally invalidating. Were here to reassure you that youre not alone, and as painful as it is – we can help you move past ghosting. Here are 5 tips to help you heal from being ghosted.
Dont take it personally.
Ghosting has the effects of making you feel extremely crummy. Did we not have enough in common? I thought the date went well!
You may find yourself with many other questions that circle in your head. The truth is, ghosting comes from people with terrible dating manners. While it feels like a personal attack, the responsibility of the ghosting lies solely with the ghoster.
So relax, take your time, and be sure to get right back at it. (Besides, you never know who will be waiting for you.)
Do continue with your A+ communication skills.
Its tempting to feel that you should change your communication skills. Should you have communicated less, been more avoidant, or shown less interest? Its easy to spiral into self reflective mode, but remember our first tip: try not to take it personally.
Like we said before, ghosting isnt a personal mirror of you or your own behaviour. There will be someone out there who will match your communication style and will feel lucky (and overjoyed!) to hear from you on a daily basis.
Here is Marisa modelling A+ communication instead of ghosting
Its okay to send a final message.
Dont feel embarrassed if you need to check in – its a completely normal reaction. Sending a final message that acknowledges the weirdness of the ghost is a completely mature response.
Give yourself time to feel.
Its normal to feel angry, embarrassed, ashamed, or sad. Give yourself a little time to heal. Even if the relationship was short, all breakups need time. Dont feel pressured to put yourself back out there until youve returned to being your fully confident and sassy self.
Stay optimistic.
One setback wont determine the rest of your dating life. In fact, one opinion that someone has of you may not have anything to do with you!
So keep your chin up, continue dating, and dont let the sting of a digital ghost get you down. (Because psst, there are a lot of great humans out there.)
Here at Mate Machine, we are committed to helping you find your perfect mate.
MateMachine is a Vancouver-based Technology start-up that has invented a unique secret crush search engine that can be used for connecting with the ones that we already know and have hidden feelings for. This happens through a unique and innovative search engine and is usable by anyone.