Setting Boundaries: How to Deal with Mean Friends

When a friend hurts you, you might start to doubt whether the friendship is worth maintaining. However, even if you are unsure about the possibility of repairing the friendship, considering forgiveness could benefit your mental well-being. Therefore, it could be valuable to contemplate forgiveness while assessing the worth of salvaging the friendship. In this article, we will discuss how to Deal If You Think Your Friends Are Being Mean to You. So stay tuned.

Can I be friends with someone mean to me?

Forgiveness is an important aspect of friendship, and it’s not uncommon to get hurt by a friend, even your best friend. According to Antoinette Beauchamp, a certified leadership coach specializing in communication and relationship management, when a friend hurts you, it’s often more about their past pain and current life circumstances than about you.

If you’re debating whether you can maintain friendship in such situations, ask yourself, “Can you remain friends with someone who hurt you without holding onto resentment?” If you feel you can’t forgive the hurt, maintaining an authentic friendship will be complex, and the pain will likely resurface, leading to future arguments.

Confront your mean friends

It may be tough, but at times, one has to face mean friends to create a healthier relationship atmosphere and to sustain good health personally. One of the first steps is confrontation, which we are going to talk about below.

Specify the mean behavior

Organize your thoughts regarding what you wish to communicate. Evidence of the mean behavior and specific patterns or recent shifts in your friend’s actions can make this easier. Instead of making general statements about them being “mean,” point out the specific behavior that bothers you. Consider writing down and editing your thoughts to clarify your need to communicate. Remember that the behavior is negative, not necessarily your friend as a person.

Find the best form of the conversation 

Plan a time to have a face-to-face conversation with your friend. Although it might seem tempting to react through text or a quick phone call, having your friend’s full attention in person is better. Whether the outcome is potentially ending the friendship or finding a solution to fix it, meeting face-to-face is preferred unless there is concern about a physical reaction. If there’s a hint of fear of physical harm, ensure your safety and seek assistance.

Share your feelings and offer a suggestion

Remember to use “I” statements to reduce defensiveness. When addressing your friend, it’s important for them to take responsibility for their behavior. For example, you can say, “I feel scared when I am screamed at. I need you to speak calmly so I can focus on what you are saying.” This kind of open communication can help both you and your friend understand each other’s feelings and strengthen your friendship. 

Remember that it’s essential to stand up for yourself and express that you feel disrespected, regardless of whether your friend changes their behavior. This is crucial for maintaining your self-worth and developing healthy self-esteem.

You can even suggest to your friends how they can adjust the hurtful behavior. However, remind them that you care for them and want to mend the relationship on a positive note.

You can show them your mean behavior by showing them how you would like to be treated. For instance, you can say, “It hurts my feelings when I am laughed at because of how I talk. Instead of laughing, you can help me correct my mistakes. I would appreciate knowing how I can improve my speaking.” How to Deal If You Think Your Friends Are Being Mean to You will help you share your feelings better with your friends and have a good relationship with them.

Set boundaries with your mean friend

Setting boundaries with a mean friend is crucial for your emotional well-being. It involves clearly communicating what behaviors you find unacceptable and being ready to enforce consequences if these boundaries are violated. This can help convey respect in your interactions and establish a healthier and more supportive friendship.

Identify the hurtful behaviors

Start by recognizing behaviors or comments that cause discomfort. You are the only one who has the authority to set this limit. There’s no need to justify your feelings.

Establishing the boundaries is the only way to go forward

 You have every right to establish boundaries around behaviors that you find unacceptable. Setting boundaries means it’s not up for negotiation. You expect your boundaries to be respected and taken into account. Also, be clear about these boundaries and establish what crosses your line. This is the only way to hold your friends responsible if they cross the boundaries. Identify the behaviors that make you feel disrespected and hurt and compile these to share with your friends.

Make sure to have a clear communication with your friends

Also, communicate clearly to your friends if there are certain types of jokes you don’t appreciate. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Your friends may have intended to be lighthearted, but something that was said or done bothered you. If this behavior makes you feel negatively about yourself, you need to speak up. 

Additionally, if you are uncomfortable with jokes that go against your own moral values, such as those based on race, make it known that you will distance yourself from that kind of joke and follow through with that action.

Reviewing your friendship with a mean friend

Recognizing that you deserve to feel safe and secure in your friendships is crucial. You also have the right to establish clear boundaries regarding behaviors that are not acceptable to you. Part of setting boundaries involves enforcing consequences if they are violated. 

The next step is to determine whether you want to continue being friends with unkind individuals. There are no strict rules governing the duration of a friendship. Occasionally, friendships naturally come to an end for various reasons. If you feel like you’ve matured beyond your friends because they frequently engage in bullying or immature behavior, you may choose to create some distance.

Don’t underestimate the power of self-care

One of the most important aspects of self-care is taking responsibility for your happiness. No friend is more important than your own happiness and security. Remember, it’s not being unkind to stand your ground and end a friendship due to broken trust.

Conclusion

Navigating friendships is sometimes an emotionally complex journey, particularly when hurtful behaviors become part of it. What is important is knowing that communication, forgiveness, and boundary-setting help keep healthy relationships. Be willing to communicate your feelings and what is not acceptable. This will open up a dialogue toward resolution or re-evaluation of the cost of that friendship in your life. Ultimately, it’s all about mental satisfaction and happiness. 

FAQ

1. What is the best way to deal with mean friends?

The best method to deal with mean friends is to set boundaries.

2. How to deal with mean friends?

The first step to dealing with mean friends is confronting them.

3. Should I confront my mean friend?

If you’re invested in your friendship, start by trying to work the issue out together. “Confrontation” is one of the first things you should try.