How to Deal with Family Members that Dislike Your Spouse

You have finally found the one you are looking for and want to spend the rest of your life with. However, there is a problem. Your family disapproves of your spouse and thinks you have made the wrong choice.

This is a common issue in families that can make family dinners really awkward. However, there are ways to cope with this problem. In this article, we will explore different ways to deal with family members who dislike your spouse and help you handle this situation in the best way possible. 

Understand the Root of the Problem

When your loved ones do not get along, it can lead to significant stress and tension. Therefore, In order to deal with this problem and have a happy family, you should first understand the reasons.
Although these conversations can be difficult, you should discuss this matter with your family as calmly and respectfully as possible. Talk to them to better understand their concerns. What specifically bothers them about your partner? Are there particular behaviors or qualities that they find difficult?

Your family members may have unrealistic expectations toward your spouse, such as expecting them to fit a certain mold or meet specific standards. They might also feel resentment towards them because of jealousy, such as feeling overshadowed by your spouse’s achievements or qualities. Incompatible personalities and simple misunderstandings could also cause hard feelings. With an open mind, these conversations will help you get a clear and honest answer and hopefully understand the root of the problem.

Strengthen Your Bond with Your Spouse

When dealing with family disapproval, having a strong and united front is necessary. You should always communicate openly and honestly with each other to maintain the best relationship possible and overcome any challenges that may come your way. 

Discuss your feelings, concerns, and strategies together to strengthen your love and commitment. Moreover, try to spend quality time together to create more shared experiences. You should always prioritize your relationship with your spouse; therefore, talk to each other to define what behavior is acceptable to family members. Finally, if your family members’ dislike is causing your relationship to crumble, consider seeking outside support like couples therapy or counseling to get your relationship back on track. 

Never Doubt Yourself or Your Spouse 

If you’re struggling with your family’s disapproval of your spouse, know that you’re not alone. These kinds of family dynamics are more common than you might think. You fell in love and chose your spouse as your lifelong companion, not your family. Therefore, it is expected that they do not have the same feelings as you. So, do not think something is wrong with you or your partner. 

Instead of criticizing yourself or your spouse, accept that your family members may not approve of your relationship. Always remember that you have made a conscious decision to be with your spouse and trust your judgment in this matter. However, just know that it is always okay to feel hurt or upset, and when you acknowledge these emotions, you will be able to manage them properly.

Keep the peace

If you have noticed your family member is being rude or disrespectful toward your spouse, it is okay to call them out. However, let the little things slide and do not make a big deal out of every small gesture that could be as simple as a misunderstanding. 

To keep the peace between these loved ones, you could also give your spouse or family members suggestions on safe discussion topics to help them maintain a good conversation. For example, it would be best if they could talk about their shared interests or exciting hobbies that they have.

If your spouse finds participating in family events difficult, have a plan to leave in certain situations. Also always have a departure time ready, and let your spouse know that it is okay if they want to leave sooner. 

If, in the middle of the family event, an argument between your spouse and your family member starts to heat up, or if you feel like your family member is treating your spouse disrespectfully, you can leave the event with your spouse to keep the peace and prevent further damage. 

Set Boundaries

Lastly, your family members and spouse should behave respectfully toward each other, even if there are hard feelings. You should let them know that if they love and respect you, they should make an effort to make you happy and avoid conflict as much as possible. A little consideration and respects goes a long way in these situations.

Therefore, clearly define what behaviors or words would be considered crossing the line and express to your family member specifically what you would not tolerate. If the family member insists on breaking these expectations, reduce your contact to protect your peace. Not setting these boundaries could lead to increased tension and potential damage to your marriage and family relationships. 

It is important to remember that setting boundaries does not mean cutting off your family entirely. In fact, it is about creating a healthy distance to protect your marriage. By defining your boundaries and communicating them clearly, you are taking control of the situation and practicing self-love and care. 

Your Love Story is Yours

Remember, this is your love story. You have the power to navigate the complex relationship between your family and your beloved spouse. By understanding the root of the problem, strengthening your bond with your spouse, and setting healthy boundaries, you can manage this situation. 

Understand that it may not be possible to change everyone’s feelings. However, you can control how you react and respond. By using the tips mentioned in this article, you can create a harmonious environment for your marriage and family life. 

Have you faced the challenge of family members who dislike  your spouse? We’d love to hear your experiences. Share your tips and stories in the comments below. Let’s support each other in building stronger relationships.

FAQs

1. Should I take sides between my spouse and my family?

Always validate the feelings of both parties, but remember, your relationship with your spouse should be your priority. You and your spouse’s feelings are valid and should be respected. 

2. My family is pressuring me to separate from my husband. What should I do? 

The decision to stay in a relationship is yours. To get out of this challenging situation, try talking to a trusted friend or seeking help from a therapist. 

3. What should I do if I don’t know why my family dislikes my spouse? 

If you don’t understand the reason, it is expected to feel frustrated. Try listening to your family with an open mind and simply appreciate their viewpoint. 

4. My family’s dislike for my spouse is affecting our children. What can I do? 

Create a safe and loving environment at home, and try to limit your children’s exposure to behaviors that can hurt their feelings. Also, be honest with them about their grandparents’ feelings, but do not criticize them or put blame on them.