Why Someone Loses Interest in the Relationship

I’m writing this as something in my personal life is going haywire…yes you guessed it my relationship. Recently I’ve been out of the country travelling, away from my boyfriend and I’ve been feeling very disconnected from him.

We’ve had conversations and the topic of breaking-up, up due to the “loss of a spark”. Now as a Masters’s student studying Psychology of course my first thought is well, “Why does this come up” or “How can someone change”. So here is what Kelly Campbell (PhD) has to say on the Topic (2018): 

  1. Low Confidence: if the person you are dating is not confident then you are more likely to lose interest in this romantic relationship. Now at first glance, I thought to myself well that doesn’t apply to me but digging deeper we need to ask ourselves these questions: Do we look to our partner and seek reassurance more often? Have we brought up past relationships they’ve had and highlighted them in our own? Do we need constant communication and conversation? 

All of these can be signs to someone that you have low confidence, as in a relationship it can be a turn-off when someone does. 

  1. Caring too Much: Now I know what you’re thinking; aren’t you supposed to care in relationships? And the truth is yes, of course. However, we need to have other interests and passions that make up an individual outside of our relationship so one isn’t leaning too much into making it their whole identity. We’ve all met that girl/guy whose only personality trait is being in a relationship and there’s not a whole lot else to them. When you start dating someone, remember what you value and are passionate about in your own life, and make sure to make that a priority when you’re starting/in a relationship. 
  1. Bad Timing: As a woman myself I think of this excuse to be BS (excuse my French) from the start. However, there is such a thing as it just not being right for the both of you to start something serious. Think about it, if someone is going through a big life transition would this be the right time to try and start something new? Would the person in question be willing to put the time and energy into this new facet in their life if they have bigger worries on their mind? Timing is everything ladies, and when looking for a relationship make sure to prioritize men that you think are in the right place of their lives for you. 
  1. Too Much Too Soon: We all know the “love bombed”; this is someone who comes on much too strong, and manipulates your emotions and feelings due to their own. I remember being on a date and this man opened up to me about all of the trauma he’s been through and how it’s affected him today. How did I feel, you ask? Terrified!! This was not first-date material and shouldn’t be accepted as such. Opening up to someone should come mutually and in a safe space that you’re both comfortable in. Too much too soon can definitely cause someone to lose interest in the relationship (or potential relationship). 

Let us know in the comments if you liked reading through Why Someone Loses Interest in You 

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K, Campbell (2018). Psychology Today. 4 Reasons Why People Lose Interest in a Partner. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/more-chemistry/201809/4-reasons-why-people-lose-interest-in-partner  

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